Beauty and the Bastard
by Miha-dono
Summary: Allen is a lonely boy in the city of Paris, his nose always in a book. One day, trying to earn money for his master's debts, Allen find himself in a catsle, whenre he meets a crew of untensil servants, and a very cranky KanAre
1. Chapter 1

The bell on the door rang. Toma looked up to see Allen strut into the store, holding a basket full of books. He quickly jumped off the ladder to greet his favorite customer.

"Allen! You're back already?"

"Well the book was so intriguing, I couldn't't put it down."

"Lucky you didn't get run over by a buggy." Toma muttered under his breath. He smiled warmly at Allen, who was already taking a book off the shelf.

"But you've read that so many times already!"

"Well, I love this book so much, and--"

"How about I just give you the book, since you love it so much." Toma gave Allen that same warm smile as he handed the book to the young white haired boy.

Allen strutted down the street, his spirits now lifted. He didn't think anything could bring him down, when...

"ALLEN!!!!!!" Rhode Kamelot screamed, tackling him and knocking the breath out of him. Allen lied on the ground, gasping for air, while Rhode continued shouting barely comprehend-able confessions of love. As soon as he could breathe again, he twisted his head around so he could see the young girl. "Hello..." he croaked.

"HI! So, I found a lovely little house on the beach, the fresh sea air will be wonderful for our children's developing lungs!"

House? Children? What was she talking about?

"Um, excuse me Rhode, but we don't have any children..." he began.

"Well of course not silly! But when we get married we'll have lots of children! And a sheepdog to play with!" she assured him.

All the color drained from Allen's face. "WE'RE GETTING MARRIED?!" he shrieked, uprighting himself and brushing Rhode off of his waist.

"Well, duh..."

"But I don't want to marry you!" Allen explained as his cheeks turned deep scarlet.

"Hmph, fine. We'll just have to do this the _hard_ way." Rhode stuck her lower lip out and crossed her arms over her stomach in a fake pout in attempt to win Allen over like she managed to do for every man in Paris. He backed away, slightly afraid of this small thing standing in front of him. He broke into a run, weaving through the crowded streets until he reached his small house with his master.

"Master! I'm home!" Allen chimed as he walked through the door. His master was in the basement, doing God knows what.

"Took ya long enough. What did you do, buy a library?" Allen's master, Cross, snapped.

"No, just this book."

"Christ, you _always_ have you nose in a book. You could be doing better things, like..."

"Like what?" Allen pressed for details, afraid of what his perverted master would say.

Cross went on to list a plethora of buyable items that Allen would rather not hear about. Allen didn't interrupt, for fear of being punished. Again.

"You're not listening, are you?" Cross snapped. Allen shook his head. "Yes I am!" he quickly replied. Actually, he hadn't been listening. He had been blocking out the perverted words that were spewing out of his master's mouth.

Cross whacked Allen in the head. "For punishment, you have to go earn twice as much tonight as usual."

Allen sighed. He would never win.


	2. Meeting the Beast

Allen found himself in the middle of a forest, totally lost. This wasn't the right way to poker night, was it?

He heard a twig snap, causing his head to whip around, his white hair slapping him in the face. 

"Hey, you're apprenticed to Cross, right?" one rather brawny man growled, his hand already balled up in a fist. All the color drianed from Allen's face as he backed away. "Y-yes..." he stammered.

"Well look here what your master owes us!" The man thrust a bill into Allen's face, causing him to turn even whiter.

"And you're paying it!"

"B-but I don't have any money!" Allen pleaded.

"Well that's a shame, isn't it?" the burly man snarled, his face now homicidal. Allen broke out into a run. He circled around trees in an attempt to lose the debt collectors. A large black castle came into view.

SWEET HAVEN! SAVE ME PLEASE! Allen begged silently as he pushed the door open. He heaved the massive hunk of wood shut, panting heavily and thanking whatever god there was that he found shelter from the insane bill collectors.

"Ah! Welcome to our castle!"

Allen's head shot from right to left, looking for the source of the noise.

"Down here, dipwad."

His eyes drifted downward to see a talking candle. That's right, a _talking candle._

"DEAR HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WHAT ARE YOU?!" Allen shrieked, trying to take a step back, but only pressing himself further onto the wall.

"My name is Tyki. And I'm a servant in the castle. Wow, of all the people to show up here, an idiot like you had to come along. Oh well, at least you're cute. Maybe you'll soften Master Kanda up a little bit."

Allen didn't respond. He was debating within himself what to do. Should he leave and face the bill collectors? Those guys would probably kill him. He had a better chance of surviving if he stayed.

Suddenly, a red feather duster came into view. Its eyes widened as it saw Tyki-candle smirking in its direction.

"Shit..." The feather duster tried to run for it, Tyki at its heels.

"I promise to be gentle with you!"

"GENTLE MY ASS YOU PERVERT!"

"Aww, you're no fun!"

The feather duster Tyki called Lavi ran behind Allen, cowering between his skinny legs. "Help me!" the feather duster pleaded.

"You can't hide behind a little boy, Bun-bun!"

"HEEEEELLLLLLP!!!!" Lavi shrieked, trying to take shelter under Allen's pant leg. "Hey, this is a nice view!" he observed.

"G-get out of my pants!" Allen stuttered, shaking his leg. Lavi clung for dear life.

"What's all the commotion?!"

"Kuro-chan! My sweet savior!" Lavi removed himself from Allen's pant leg and hid behind a talking clock.

Okay, I have to have a fever or something. No, I'm hallucinating! That must be it! This can't be real! I'm just gonna go home, go see a doctor, and forget all about this. Allen turned to open the giant of a door, but it didn't budge. He leaned back and put all his weight and strength into it, but nothing happened. He put one foot on the wall next to the door and pulled, hoping that it was just swollen from some rain.

"Sorry, but that's locked." Tyki observed.

Krory the clock started runnind around, but ended up tripping and falling on his face, since he didn't have any separation between his legs.

"No, no, no! Master Kanda will be furious! We have to get him out at once!"

"My name's Allen." Allen butted in.

"You know how much Master Kanda hates guests! What if all this ruckus--"

"Who the fuck did you let in the castle _this_ time, Tyki?" a voice from the stairway growled. Allen looked up, and his breath caught in his throat. Standing at the top of the staircase was a boy, about eighteen, with raven hair that reached his hips and slanted black eyes. He had a slnder figure, almost as feminine as Allen's himself. Hanging off his hip was a samurai sword that was kept safe in its sheath. His glare cut through Allen like a newly sharpened knife.

Is this the master Kanda that they're talking about? Allen wondered.

"M-Master Kanda! I swear it was Tyki, not me!" Krory pleaded.

"Who is this?" Kanda repeated.

"I-I'm...Allen W-Walker." Allen gulped, fescinated yet terrified by the owner of this giant castle.

"Get. Out." Kanda growled, his fingers brushing the hilt of his sword. Allen would have left, but the door was still locked. Unable to speak, he simply shook his head. 

"Master Kanda, he can't leave! The door's locked!" Lavi whined. "Can he stay? Pleeeaaase?"

_"Get out or die."_ Kanda barked as he unsheathed his sword a little.

"If I leave, the debt collectors are gonna kill me!" Allen pleaded, finally finding his voice. Kanda rolled his eyes and strided down the stairs, his hair bouncing up and down with each step. He grabbed Allen by the collar and dragged him down the steps. "If you can't leave, then stay down here where I don't have to look at you." he snapped, throwing Allen in the dungeons. Allen didn't give a word of protest, for fear of being killed.

How did a simple punishment turn into _this?_ When I get out, I am going to _kill_ Cross...


	3. Escape! Sort Of

The next morning Lavi was following Kanda around the kitchen while Komui the teapot made breakfast, Lenalee hopping beside her older brother. "That was awfully mean of you Yu-chan!" Lavi pouted. "Why don't you let him out?"

"No. I don't wanna look at that annoying face of his. Tch." Kanda didn't even bother to look at Lavi, who was shooting him puppydog eyes that ne-he-he-heeever worked.

"Fine, we'll have to do this the hard way! Lethimoutlethimoutlethimoutlerhimoutleth imoutlethimoutlethimout..." Lavi took in a louder than necessary breath. "Lethimoutlethimoutlethimoutlethimoutleth imoutlethimoutLET HIM OUT!!" Lavi sang.

Kanda was annoyed beyond all reason, but appeared unfazed. "Tch, you know you can't keep that up forever."

"Oh, but I can. Lethimoutlethimoutlethimoutlethimoutleth imoutlethimoutlethimoutlethimout..." Lavi followed Kanda around the castle, chanting the same sentence for an hour.

"Master, would you like me to shut him up?" Tyki asked with a smirk as he slung him candle-like arm around Lavi.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!!!!!!!!! I WON'T STOP YELLING RAPE UNTIL YOU LET ALLEN OUT! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kanda rubbed his temples, ready to kill Lavi. Lavi kept yelling for another three hours until Kanda finally snapped.

"ALRIGHT ALREADY! I'LL LET HIM OUT SO HE CAN HAVE LOTS OF FUN IN OUR HAPPY FLUFFY CASTLE! WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?!"

"Yep." Lavi grinned as he followed Kanda down to the dungeon.

"Hey, Beansprout." Kanda demanded.

Allen took a second to realize that he was beansprout. He sat in the dungeon, his back against the wall.

"I _said_, hey, Beansprout! BEANSPROUT!" Kanda demanded.

"Oh, me?" Allen asked.

"No, the discolored feather duster standing behind me. Of course you!" The raven haired prince unlocked the door. "Now get out of here."

Allen ran out the door as fast as his scrawny legs would take him. Suddenly, he was pulled to the ground by an oposing force grabbing the back if his shirt.

"You need a room, first. Come on." The older boy didn't even look at Allen, who trotted behind him. Wow, Kanda had long legs.

"Get in." Kanda practically threw poor Allen into his new room. Well, it wouldn't have hurt that much. For a hostage's room, it sure was lavish. A giant bed, and the rug was softer than any Allen had ever seen. And the design on the dresser was so real, it was almost life-like. Wait a second...

"You mean, I'm not alone in here anymore? OH THANK HEAVENS!!" the dresser cried. Allen ducked, for fear of being crushed in a dresser-hug.

"Um...hello..." the white-haired boy squeaked. The giant dresser stopped in its tracks. Err, her tracks. 

"OH NO!! I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO SCARE YOU!!! PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!!!!"

"I-it's okay, I don't hate you! What's your name, anyway? I'm Allen Walker."

"M-Miranda Lotto..." the dresser sniffed.

"Pleased to meet you, Miranda."

To tell the truth, when Miranda was scariest when she was apologizing. Allen was begninning to wonder if he had a better chance if survival handling the bill collectors.


	4. Allen, You're So Pretty!

Allen blinked at Miranda. "What's this?" he asked, pointing to the frilly yellow dress in front of him.

"Well, you're having dinner with the master tonight, so I thought you should wear something nice!" The living dresser seemed oblivious to Allen's horror.

"Oh..."

"I think you should wear it, Allen. It would look _delectable_ on you," Tyki observed from the other side of the room. Allen's face paled as Tyki's choice of adjectives.

For the past few weeks, Allen had been attempting to soften Kanda, the bastard prince up, and maybe Prince Kanda's servants would allow him to leave with his limbs intact and his blood off the carpets.

_It sounds weird calling him a prince...he's not exactly princely._

It seemed the strange array of untensils were determined to get Allen and Kanda together, why Allen didn't know.

"Wear it, Beansprout! Pleeeaaaase?" Lavi shot the white-haired boy his puppydog pout, only earning him a tackle and attempted molestation by none other than the horny candle himself.

"My name is Allen!"

"I'M SORRY! YOU DON'T LIKE THE DRESS!! I SHOULD JUMP OUT THE WINDOW AND BURN IN THE FLAMES OF HELL! I'M SO WORTHLESS, I CAN'T EVEN PICK OUT A PROPER OUTFIT!!" Miranda sobbed, almost falling on top of Allen.

"N-no! Honestly, it's fine! I'll wear the dress! I l-love it!" Allen hurriedly grabbed the dress and scurried off to his room, afraid to upset the giant dresser again. Something of that size shouldn't get so worked up...

"YOU LOOK GORGEOUS ALLEN!" Lavi squealed, tugging at the frilly yellow dress. He grabbed a ribbon and a hairbrush. "Now..."

Tyki picked up on the idea. "Down, Boy," he demanded to Allen, pointing to the floor.

"Why?"

"Just _do_ it." Tyki sounded unusually frightening. Allen took that moment to notice the flames perched on Tyki's hands and head, and landed on the ground harder than he had planned. Lavi pounched on him and began pulling the brush through Allen's shoulder-length white hair.

"Your hair's really soft...I bet Yuu will like it! Now hold still!"

"STOP PULLING!" Allen snapped. A film of involuntary tears formed in his eyes from the pressure on his scalp. _Lavi's evil!_

"Hold still Beansprout! I'm almost done!" Lavi pulled especially hard, forcing a yelp out of said Beansprout.

_SATAN'S HAIRDRESSER!_

"Okay, done! here, take a look!" The feather duster commanded, taking Allen's index finger and leading him to a mirror. The face Allen saw looked more like a girl's than a horrified boy's. Then again, he never exactly looked masculine...

(Cross had to learn that the hard way.)

Lavi and Tyki ran down the stairs, beckoning Allen to follow. "The lovely Princess Allen Walker, residing! Bow your heads before his radiant beauty, and give him your praise!"

"Shut up, Lavi," Allen growled, tapping him with his slippered toe. He shot the feather duster a smile before he went off to have dinner with Prince Not-So Charming.


	5. Dinner and a Show

"Ch--MOYASHI?!" Kanda nearly fell out of his seat. Allen rubbed the back of his neck. "It's a long story..."

_Holy fuck! Allen...he looks gorgeous! Wait a second, why is he wearing a drees?! He's a guy! Can't say I'm complaining...I SHOULD BE COMPLAINING! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!?_

Kanda argued with his inner pervert as Allen was ushered to the seat next to him by Komui the teapot. (Okay, don't ask about that one.) Komui and his little sister, a teacup named Lenalee, served them their first course: tea.

"Che. Go away," Kanda snapped. Komui and Lenalee shrugged and hopped away. That was Kanda's version of "Thank you."

Allen huddled into his chair, sipping his tea in defense-mode. Any second now, Kanda was going to snap at him for something; his hair, the dress, the shoes...

"Uh...you look...really..." Kanda began. He paused, trying to find the right word.

"What? Gay? Femi? Retarded? I don't want to he--"

"WILL YOU LET ME FINISH MY SENTENCE?!" Kanda interrupted. Allen scooted away a little as Kanda rubbed his temples. "I was _going _ to say you look really _nice! _Che."

Whoa, what?! Allen was taken aback by the compliment. Kanda turned to his tea, trying to make his hair cover his face. But Allen saw it.

"Are you..._blushing_?"

"No," Kanda lied. He tried to sound angry, but only succeeded in sounded humiliated and a little horny.

"It's okay to be embarrassed, Kanda. It's a natural emotion."

"I'M NOT EMBARRASSED YOU OBNOXIOUS LITTLE CROSS-DRESSING MIDGET! NOW SHUT UP AND EAT!"

"But the food's not out yet..."

"THEN EAT THE TABLE! JUST DON'T TALK TO ME!"

"O-okay..." Allen poked his napkin with a fork, trying to feel a little less awkward. The tab;e did look pretty appetizing...

"Che. You're not seriously going to eat the table. Moron Moyashi." Kanda leaned back.

"No, I'm not eating until the food is served! You're such a bastard!" Allen put on a pout and looked away. No, he wasn't trying to seduce Kanda, he was just too stupid to know he was.

_GAH! He looks cute! And seductive! Why does he look seductive?! Where's Komui with our food! I want to stop looking at Moyashi but I can't!_ Kanda noticed the ribbon's tied into Allen's hair, and several ways to use them that didn't involve hair flashed through his mind.

Allen's eyes drifted toward Kanda, then drifted away suddenly. For such a bastard, he sure was pretty. Wait, why was he staring like that? He kinda looked the way Tyki usually did right before he jumped Lavi. Allen didn't have enough time to contemplate the mystery of Kanda's emotions before the food was served. Allen dived for a little bit of everything, piling his plate to the limit with all sorts of fattening and carb-ariffic foods that would give any dieting woman a heart attack. He stuffed it all into his mouth, completely forgetting his manners. Kanda just served himself some souba. He was pretty sure the rest of the food was for Allen.

"Moyashi?" Kanda was surprised at how much such a skinny kid could eat. Said skinny kid looked up, his face littered with bread crumbs.

_HOLY FUCK HE'S CUTE!_

"You want anything, Kanda?" Kanda shook his head, and Allen just shrugged and dived in for more. Finally, the food supply was exhausted, and Allen's beastuva stomach was tamed...for the time being. Komui, Lavi, and Tyki popped up between Allen and Kanda.

"Wow, you look horny," Tyki observed of Kanda. "Anyway, Allen, do you dance?"

"Uh...I took a couple lessons (against my will) when I was a kid, but other than that..."

"THEN IT'S SETTLED! Come on!" Lavi and Komui dragged Allen and Kanda to the center of the ballroom, despite Kanda's threats and Allen's obvious horror. They pushed the two together, and ran off.

"GET BACK HERE BEFORE I RIP THOSE FEATHERS OUT OF YOUR SKULL YOU LITTLE--"

"Uhh..Kanda? There's music," Allen observed. "So, d-do y-you..."

Without another word, Kanda placed a hand on Allen's waist and grabbed his other. Allen had to hold up his dress with his free hand, for fear of falling. Kanda had to instruct him on where to go, since he really didn't have much experience with dancing.

"You can dance?" Allen inquired, trying not to trip.

"Che. I had to learn how. Now shut up."

Allen let his lips form a little smile and he moved according to Kanda's guidance. And Tyki was right; he did look horny.


	6. Where is that Walker Boy?

ahaha...finally figuring this site out D

anyway, I apologize for my chapters being so short, but that's just the way my mind works. I hope you guys don't mind too much.

oh, and if you have anything in the way of constructive criticism, don't be afraid to tell me. It's always nice to know what I should improve on.

and thanks for putting up with my stupidity for this long!

Miha

---------------------------------

"MY FIANCEE'S DISAPPEARED!" Rhode whined. Jasdero, a boy with long blonde hair, appeared behind her.

"Aren't you a little young for marriage?" he asked playfully.

"Age is but a number when you're in love!" Rhode sighed and fell backwards into the chair behind her.

"Maybe he was looking for a ring?" Jasdero's brother, Debito, offered. Rhode got scary when she was angry.

"JasDebi! Find Allen for me!" Rhode commanded. The two looked at each other, then to Rhode. "Um...we have nothing to go off of. With Allen's sense of direction, he could be in Rome by now."

"THEN GO TO ROME! I WANT MY LOVEBUNNY HERE WITH _ME!_"

"Love...bunny?" Jasdero and Debito stared at their "boss" for a second, before bursting into uncontrollable laughter. _"Lovebunny?!_ No wonder he ran away! That's a cruel and unusual nickname!" They continued to howl with laughter.

Tactless, as usual. Rhode growled and grabbed Jasdero's hair. "I want Allen with me. _Now._ Go get him, or this hair will be used to cushion bird nests."

Rhode had hit the twins' weak spot. "NO! NOT MY HAIR!" Jasdero whined, trying to pry Rhode's fingers off of his wavy blonde locks. His hair was the prettiest thing about him.

"Don't touch Jasdero's hair! We'll get Allen for you, we promise!" The two bolted out of the Noah estate and began their search for Allen.

Ten minutes passed.

"I can't find him anywheeere!" Jasdero whined. Debito patted him on the head lovingly, the way a parent would do to their child. "It's okay, Jasdero, we'll find him!"

"Who are you looking for?" a voice interrupted their whining.

Jasdero and Debito turned to see a girl with blonde hair in pigtails, and an outfit that belonged in a strip club more than it did on the streets of Paris. "I'm Eliade."

"Hi, Eliade! I'm Debito, and this is my brother Jasdero!" Debito introduced, unfazed by the hooker dress.

"Oh, so you're twins?" Eliade asked. The twins shook their heads. "We're not twins!" Jasdero whined. "Call us JasDebi!"

"Right. Anyway, who are you looking for?" Eliade could tell right away the tw--_JasDebi_ were too stupid to be attracted to anything, so she didn't bother.

"Uhh, our boss's fiancee, Allen," Debito began.

"SHE'S GONNA RIP MY HAIR OUT IF WE DON'T FIND HIM!" Jasdero cried, burying his face into his brother's shoulder. Without a word, Eliade fished through her bag full of useless junk a pulled out a mirror. "This should help. Just think about Allen and you should be able to find him."

Jasdero eagerly grabbed the mirror and stared at it intently. "Allen Walker! Come forth!" Debito copied the younger "twin", grabbing the mirror and shouting for Allen. Eliade stood back and watched the two idiots shout for a boy that she didn't even know. After a few seconds of them showcasing their abysmal intelligence, Allen finally becan to show through the mirror, dancing with a beautiful boy with long, black hair.

"Oh no," Debito hissed. "Master Rhode's gonna be maaad. Well, see you, Eliade! And by the way, you look like a streetwalker!" The duo ran off.

"HEY! GIVE ME MY MIRROR BACK! Oh, whatever." Eliade huffed and stomped off.


	7. Prince Yuu's curse

HEY IT'S ALMOST FINISHED!

I hope you guys have enjoyed it so far. Because it's so much fun for me to write.

Well, enjoy!!

--------

Allen wandered about Kanda's castle, back in boy's clothes.

Quickly, his walk turned into a battle between the winding halls and his terrible sense of direction. Everything looked the same! Ahhh! Allen stumbled frantically through the castle until he found himself in a place he _knew_ he had never been in before. Then he remembered Kanda nagging him to stay out of the west wing, or something like that. (Allen had been hungry at the time and wasn't paying attention.)

_Could this be the west wing he was talking about? Oh crap...Okay, let's think rationally. If you can find which way is East..._

Allen laughed at the very thought. He couldn't even distinguish between his left and right! He just decided to wander aimlessly through the halls, and if Kanda found him, test those puppydog eyes he hadn't used in forever.

_Hey, what's this door?_ Allen opened said door and founf himself in a bedroom even more lavishly decorated than his own. _This must be Kanda's room. Well, I'm sure he won't mind if I poke around a little. Okay, he definitely would mind, but the goddamned author is killing my logic!_

I love you too, Allen.

Despite his anger at the authoress, Allen ignored all sense of logic and decided to look at Kanda's lovely room. The first thing he noticed was the size of the bed. He sat on it, admiring how it made his bed feel like stone block, when a glint of light caught his eye. He directed his attention towards a small table, which gave support to a lotus flower in a glass case. Most of the petals had fallen to the bottom of the case.

_Why does he keep this lotus if it's wilting? Maybe I should get him a new one!_

"Heyyy! What're you doing in here, Beansprout?! Kanda's gonna be pissed if he finds you!" Lavi had come into the room to clean it up a bit, when he saw Allen admiring Kanda's lotus.

"Why does Kanda have this?" Allen asked, pointing to the wilted flower. Lavi's face dropped along with his cheerful attitude. "Oh, that...That's Master Kanda's...uhh"

"His what?"

"Let me explain. A long time ago, I forget how long, an old hag lady came up to Master Kanda, requesting that she stay for the night. Don't ask. Kanda said no, simply because he's a total bastard and hates people. Well, I guess the hag was PMSing or something, because she got really angry and turned into this super-pretty fairy lady. Anyway, she got really pissed and cursed him: If he could love and be loved in return before the last petal fell, he'd be free of the curse."

"And if he doesn't?" Allen asked.

"He'll die. Sucks, doesn't it? And we had to get punished, too. That's why all his servants are...what we are. Before the curse, I was quite sexy, if I do say so myself!" Lavi puffed his chest out in pride. Allen rolled his eyes. "Sure you were." He stared at the lotus for a little while as Lavi cleaned up Kanda's room.

_I never knew Kanda had to deal with so much. I thought he was just a hermit._

"Hey, you need help getting to the kitchen? I don't think I've seen you there for at least two hours!"

Allen nearly trampled over Lavi in his rush to keep his stomach from eating itself.


	8. Kanda's Reluctant Confession

and this is the last chapter! Come, read the KanAre cuteness!

I hope you guys enjoyed it, because if not, I'm going to be very angry with myself.

And I know the ending is comletely different from the actual story, but I haven't seen the movie in a bajillion years, I only have it on VHS, and guess who doesn't have a VCR? So, sorry. But I like how it ended anyway.

----------

"WHY IS _MY _ALLEN DANCING WITH SOMEONE ELSE?! WHY IS HE DANCING WITH ANOTHER BOY?! AND _WHY_ IS HE WEARING A DRESS?!?!" Rhode seethed.

"C-calm down, Rhode..." Debito began.

"NO! THIS...GAY-MAN PRETTYBOY IS TRYING TO STEAL MY FIANCEE! AND HE'S MAKING HIM CROSS-DRESS! I WON'T HAVE IT! GET ME SKIN!"

"Not Skin!" Jasdero and Debito whined in unision. Skin was a scary guy...not very likable, either.

"GET HIM! I WON'T HAVE ANYONE STEALING MY ALLEN'S INNOCENCE! I'LL KILL THIS PRETTY FACED BASTARD AND SAVE MY LOVEBUNNY FROM HIS EVIL CLUTCHES!" And who else could do a better job disposing of pretty-boys than Skin Boric?

"F-fine! We'll get him!" Jasdero and Debito ran off to find Skin.

"Skinnyyyy! Mistress Rhode has requested your serviceeees!" Jasdero sang.

"This'll be fun," Debito muttered.

000

"Uhh, Kanda?" Allen began. Kanda was spacing out on the balcony and hadn't heard Allen approach.

"Che," Kanda returned. Allen took that as an incentive to continue.

_Why can't I just forget about this? For all I know this could be one long, twisted dream that I'm about to wake up from. I'm just gonna wake up, and Master is going to punish and beat the crap out of me for not getting any money. Yeah, I must be dreaming. Now if somebody would just wake me up..._

"Well? Are you gonna say anything, Moyashi?" Kanda snapped.

"Pinch me and wake me up!" Allen meant to say 'no', but his thoughts and his speech had gotten mixed together.

Kanda stared at Allen like he had a second head growing out of his shoulder. "You keep telling yourself that."

_He wouldn't have to twist my arm much..._ Kanda immeditely hit himself in the head. _I really need to get away from Tyki._

"Ah, Kanda!" Allen called. Kanda froze, turning slowly to face the white beauty that was his "hostage". "Um, that wasn't what I meant to say...you know what that's like."

"No, I don't," Kanda said.

"Well, what I was trying to say, is that...I...well...um, what I want to say, is..." Allen fumbled for the right words.

_He looks like a shy schoolgirl trying to ask someone out._

"Well? Say it!" Kanda growled, his hand reaching for his sword. Allen looked up, and noticed a rather ugly man standing behind Kanda. Tyki, Lavi, and Krory were all standing behind the mofo, pointing to him and running a finger across their necks. It didn't take Allen very long before it clicked.

"Behind you!" Allen shrieked. Kanda didn't even have to look over his shoulder. "I'm waiting," he mumbled. Skin lurched foward, preparing to kill Kanda, but the prince grabbed Allen and moved to the side, using his attacker's weight against him. Skin lost his balance and fell over the balcony, and to his death. Well, we're assuming he died, because I hate Skin like that.

"Kanda?" Allen asked, poking his unneccessary savior. "What...was that for?"

"What was what for? He tried killing me, so I returned the favor." Kanda glared at the edge of the balcony.

"Not that!" Allen snapped. "You're an idiot!"

"You're not so smart yourself, Moyashi," Kanda observed. Allen's face flushed with anger and embarrassment. "Why did you get me out of the way, too?!"

"Because you were too stupid to save yourself," Kanda simply stated. "And...I didn't want you to...to leave."

Lavi, Tyki, and Krory took this as their cue to leave.

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FREAK OUT MARY-SUE STYLE WHEN YOU JUST SIDE-STEP HIM?!" Allen screamed. "THAT'S NOT HOW THE STORY GOES!"

"FUCK THE STORY, YOU UNGRATEFUL MIDGET! I SAVED YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE CUTE, AND I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO DIE!" Kanda retorted, hitting Allen on the head. "And because--" the prince stopped.

"You...love me?" Allen finished. Kanda's cheeks turned a light pink. "...Sure...I mean...well...yeah."

Allen's blush rivaled Kanda's. "That's...great! I mean, well, I love you, too!"

The raven-haired curse-ee glared at Allen. "Damn Moyashi," he whispered, before kissing him.

The two didn't get more than thirty seconds of peace before Lavi's screaming reached their ears.

"HEY, TYKI! MIRANDA! KRORYKINS! I'M A _PERSON_ AGAIN!" he screamed. Kanda let out a low growl.

_Thanks a ton for killing the moment, Baka-Usagi._ he thought, standing up. Tyki came onto the balcony, his yellow eyes relflecting the moon quite nicely. He looked around the balcony. "He should still be wearing it...," he muttered, a perverted light dancing in his eyes. His attention averted to Kanda, who was pulling Allen to his feet, grumbling the whole time.

"I see you two finally made up. Be sure to video-tape it for Lavi and I. Speaking of which, where is the little bunny-boy? If my memory is correct, he should be wearing a--ah, there he is!" Tyki marveled at his reluctant uke, who looked very upset.

"Is that a..." Allen's sentence trailed off. Kanda nodded. "Tyki paid me," he explained.

Allen stared in wonder and shock at Lavi, who was wearing a (rather revealing) maid's dress. Topped off with elbow-length gloves and a pair of thigh-high boots, Lavi was a rape waiting to happen. (And guess who the rapist is?)

"Come here now, my little bunny-boy!" Tyki cooed, chasing after Lavi, who ran as fast as his high heels would take him. Krory, wearing a long cape, watched the two pass. "Master Kanda?"

"Tyki's idea."

"Oh..." it was obvious Krory had been crying and spazzing, and he still was. "Miranda is having a bit of a breakdown, and I think you should do something about it!"

"Moyashi, go help Miranda," Kanda demanded.

"I'm not your servant," Allen growled. "Go get her yourself."

_Oh no, you're not my servant...you're more than that..._ Kanda smirked and walked away, deciding he needed a new lotus for his room.

-----

(Can you say sex slave? xD)


End file.
